In Julian Barnes’ satiric novel England, England, the Isle of Wight is transformed into a spectacular theme park. England, England is a simulacrum of all those things that define “Englishness”. Eventually England, England becomes a commercially vibrant sovereign state in its own right while old England falls into an almost post-apocalyptic decay, re-naming itself Anglia [...]
For years Labatt and Molson Breweries battled it out to be the bottled essence of what it is to be Canadian (or at least Canadian male aged LDA to 24). Today, Labatt is a burp on some Brazilian’s income statement, or should that be Belgian? Some far-flung ‘B’ country at any rate. Molson of course [...]
Back when the Electric Light Orchestra were groovin’ their way to the top of the charts, I was mouldering in a solicitors’ office in Birmingham as an articled clerk (we acted in one of the band member’s mum’s divorce). I worked for the firm’s sole litigation specialist. We did a bit of everything, matrimonial, custody, [...]
I attended that unique British institution, the exceptionally minor public school. Two of them actually, the first in their desperation to see the back of me offering up a glowing (and utterly misleading) reference, which secured my place at the other. At the latter joint there was a trio of masters who had all been [...]
There used to be a director in New York (I think his name was Nat Eisenberg) whose speciality was making consumer testimonial TV spots. With packaged goods companies of course, this meant the finished spot would have to reflect a predetermined, strategically correct script. He would simply keep re-framing the same questions until the punter [...]
21 Apr
Posted by simon as Uncategorized
Those who can do, those who can’t teach. I don’t entirely agree with the cliché, after all I was privileged to thwart the efforts of a number of impassioned and brilliant teachers, all of whom, despite my best efforts left some indelible mark on my soul. But right now the marketing and advertising business is [...]
It appears that Leo Burnett has opened a daycare in Sydney. I suppose it’s one way to “monetize” the space when the grown ups aren’t there. And of course there are all those apples that need eating up. Poor old Leo, he had all sorts of criteria for when they should take his name off [...]
Right now, I hope there are such things as ghosts and that they are capable of truly fucking with peoples’ heads. Because I most sincerely hope that the ghost of Tiger’s dad comes down and does a real Hamlet Senior number on his son, his agent, and the marketing people at Nike. Either that or [...]
A friend of mine, who competed twice in the Le Mans 24-hour race, once took me round a racetrack in his Porsche. His Porsche was very special. Inside it looked like absolute shit, a bit like a Trabant. You even had to crank the windows the old fashioned way. As each corner approached all I [...]
It may come as a surprise to loyal readers that I’m quite religious. As a matter of fact, I’m a practising member of the Church of The Fourth Martini. There are things we have in common with other churches: transubstantiation for instance, believing as we do that She is to be found in every olive. [...]